Of course, it is hard to stay strong through a separation, but you can make it. Positive actions and a healthy mind will help you during this tough time. From keeping things civil with your ex to finding professional support, here are some ways you can ensure it doesn’t all go wrong.
Decide Who Gets What
One of the biggest points of contention besides children through a separation is who gets what. As a couple, you will have purchased many things together, including pets! Deciding who gets specific things can cause many arguments. It doesn’t even have to be valuable, as some things are highly sentimental. Mediation can help when planning ownership. Storage units can help with keeping valuable and sentimental items safe when you are between homes at this time.
Stay Strong through a Separation with Amicability
Anger and frustration are useless emotions. Of course, you are only human and will probably experience these stronger than usual when going through a separation. But you won’t make things better by being bitter and lashing out. The feeling can be overwhelming, but there is hope. About 20% of separated couples reconcile, and there is always the chance you will get back together. But this will never happen if you argue, scream, and fight each other all the time.
Consider the Needs of Children
Separating is hard enough for grown adults. How hard do you think it is for children who have to witness it? Children should be kept as far from adult issues as possible. One of the worst issues is bad-mouthing each other to the kids. This is extremely confusing and can cause children to pick sides. But that isn’t fair. When going through a separation, children need stability. Try to keep things amicable and proceed with normal routines for the kids as much as you can.
Stay Strong through a Separation with Wellness
Further to routines, wellness plays a key role when going through something like this. Of course, you will have days where you want to curl up (even the guys), and that’s okay. However, you can find the strength to proceed by being kind to yourself. Give these wellness tips a try:
➤ Keep up with your existing routines to stay stable at home and work.
➤ Emotional control means recognition, but also stabilization through meditation.
➤ Exercise when you feel strong emotions to expel them in a healthy way.
➤ Talk to the people around you who will support you the most.
➤ Stay away from harmful activities such as drugs, poor diet, and casual sex.
Feeling grief is normal when splitting up. Yes, it’s hard, but with some wellness tips, you can keep things as normal as possible with social support, personal health, and allowing emotions.
Don’t Isolate Yourself Too Much
We can often retreat into our comfort zones too much when we have to face something hard, and separation is one of those things. The time, energy, and emotional tolls it takes can reduce you to a stressed-out ball of depression. This can cause you to shut yourself away and not want to see anyone. But this will only make you feel worse. Of course, personal space is needed. But you will find comfort, solace and peace among friends and family who care for you the most.
Counseling to Stay Strong through a Separation
It can feel like you don’t know where to turn when experiencing a separation. It can be an emotional time knowing that about 80% of separations end in divorce. Yet there is always help and support available, even if you don't want to speak to family or friends. Specialist counselors can guide you through this difficult time, and they are bound by confidentiality. You can freely speak your mind and get things off your chest, which can be a freeing experience.
Think About the Good That Can Happen
You have separated for one or more reasons. More often than not, the relationship just isn't working. It doesn’t help to place blame for this, and there may not even be any. A separation can be the best thing for everyone. Do you really want to be unhappy in a toxic relationship? It is hard, but it can help to think about the positives. There will be no more arguing, the feelings of being oppressed will be gone, and you can take comfort in knowing you can meet someone.
Summary
Coming to an arrangement about who gets what will help you stay strong through a separation. A wellness plan that helps you stick to routines and emphasizes health can be a light in the darkness. You can also get through by thinking about the positives that can come from this.