When I was growing up, I resented my parents' strict rules. Their constant push for me to learn a musical instrument annoyed me. They wanted me to appreciate the finer things in life like art, sculpture, dance and classical music. They gave me these privileges that children my age could only dream of.
Despite my desire to just go out and play, I had to abide by their rules which were as clear as the light of day. After school, I had to clean up and then do homework. After homework was piano lessons. After piano lessons, my mom would take me to dance class. By the time dance class was over, it was almost time for dinner. Bedtime would be at 7:00. Dad would start to play classical music on the stereo - Bach, Beethoven, Chopin, occasionally there would be Mozart. Those were the last sounds I heard until I fell asleep.
Mom and Dad were the best parents anyone could ever have. My first teachers. My role models. My only regret was that they forgot to impart their wisdom on the following things:
1. My parents forgot to teach me how to kiss ass and how to be an effective brown noser.
2. My parents forgot to tell me that there will always be one major meritricious person in every organization.
3. They did not teach me to be impervious.
4. They forgot to warn me that speaking my mind can backfire.
5. My mom and dad did not teach me to favor deceit in exchange for career advancement or personal gain.
6. They forgot to warn me about people who fall into the Nugatory, Pecksniffian, Puerile and Autocratic category.
7. They did not give me instructions on how to deal with people who fall under the categories stated above.
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8. Lastly, they never told me that some people never grow out of kindergarten. Mom and Dad forgot to warn me about people with a weird gait - one step forward and one mile backward.
I am forever thankful for having been born to such wonderful, mature adults who took their responsibilities as parents to heart. The only drawback was that they thought the world is all good.
I have learned to cope on my own. Life gives valuable lessons.
The cycle ends here.
That really puts things in perspective.. my parents taught me the world will take everything from you in a second if your not careful.. I try and teach my kids real life things so they are prepared.
ReplyDeleteI have been telling my children to always be wary of people who are unbelievably kind. These are the ones who usually have some kind of vested interest.
DeleteThat is usually a sure sign that something is not right.. I tell my kids the same thing.
DeleteI think we had the same parents...I felt so unprepared for the viciousness out there.
ReplyDeleteHi Scott! It is tough but experience is truly the best teacher.
DeleteYes, it is all true and same time hilarious! Kidding aside, the moral compass and the culture they taught you could be sufficient enough to thread well on those things they failed to impart. Sometimes, the best teacher is our own experience. My parents had taught me two things : One is that, put yourself in their shoes so you can understand them well and act accordingly. Second, we can't control other people's behavior but we have our choice with the way we react to them, so choose the better option and do not wade the easy water of imitating theirs. Love your posts!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you had such a poor experience. There are a ton of new studies which show that IQ is not as important for a child to learn as "emotional intelligence" or "EQ". Because the people with higher EQ are the most successful, while we tend to just burn out kids who we push to get higher grades, degrees, etc.- which sounds like what you are experiencing. The best way to learn is the play and its never too late! I've also only started recently- my favorite thing now is being able to doodle and draw again :]
ReplyDeleteOh dear...not sure why they forget to tell you maybe they are afraid for you to learn that there are such bad things around you? whatever their reasons they might have some explanations about it .
ReplyDeleteHi Nova! I guess they wanted to build a force field around me and my siblings to protect us from the realities of life. Maybe they wanted us to grow up with nothing but positivity around us.
DeleteLOL!! These are great!! I agree. I think as parents we spend so much time trying to teach are kids the good things we forget to teach them things like these!
ReplyDeleteI probably forget to tell my kids about that bad that's in the world. I know already my 8 year old has been confronted with some not so nice experiences that I've had to talk her through. Sounds like your parents did an amazing job, even if they left out these details.
ReplyDeleteOMG! Your description of how you were raised by your parents is like a carbon copy of mine. The similarities are very apparent. :-)
ReplyDeleteOn number 8, it takes a lot of courage to cut people out for ones sanity. I've done it to a few and life has never been better. Respect is accorded to people who have the guts to 'rock a malfunctioning boat'.
I like that "rock a malfunctioning boat." It speaks so much of the rut I am in right now.
DeleteAs a parent we always want the best for our kids and we always them to be happy when they are growing up. Of course we don't want to look at the word I mean the bad side of it. Maybe we just have to learn it our own when we are growing up. :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Welcome to the real world of saints and sinners. I used to say some never left HS but I like yours better. Your parents taught you well. ;-)
ReplyDeletemy parents brought #1 to our attention, but adding to never kiss ass in relation to #5 to never sacrifice oneself for career advancement, they kind of prepared us for the jungle in this world thus a lot of these here were brought up to us, but more to arm ourselves against the beasts and to not be one of them for in the end, every bad thing we do will backfire to us.
ReplyDeletebut then, experience taught us also a lot more. aren't we glad we have very well meaning parents who want us to do the right thing? love this Ai, a great reminder of how we should deal with the bad in this world, not be one of them, but learn to cut them out from us, or ignore! :) I sooooo love what you said in the end about cutting people in our lives, we do have to keep our surroundings clean :)
"Kites fly high against the wind." I would rather be "different" than "blended with the crowd that is evil."
DeleteTrue! That's why for me, street smart is waaayy better than book smart.
ReplyDeleteI never forget that my father always tell us that time is gold. He is such a hard worker father. I am thankful to God that my husband is exactly like my father. It is not too late to change especially if you have a family of your own, what you did not learned in the past, you can teach them to your kids. My mother plays favoritism while growing up. It hurts so bad :-( Now that I have two kids, I play fair and both love them to pieces :-)
ReplyDeleteFunny indeed! True, some parents push their children to the things that they dislike most. At least now, you lived with your way and learned lessons in life.
ReplyDeleteNOt teaching you how to kiss Ass and brown nose is not a bad thing, in fact it is a good thing. Brown noser are just bad elements. I dunno, it's not just my thing. It might not help your career but at least you have integrity intact.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great list. lol...As a parent now, I struggle with how to teach my children the best qualities but keep them informed that there is a big world out there filled with people who would take rather than give. Giving them an awareness of all the negative forces they will undoubtedly face is important, as they'll learn from life experience. I hope is to give them the tools to handle those situations and people well.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to find a balance as a parent; you want your children to grow up with a good attitude towards others and yet, yes, there are so many people out there who are just not who you'd want them to mix with. I'm glad they left out the brown nosing and ass kissing though. I won't be teaching my children that either!
ReplyDeleteI love the last photo you posted above! Letting go of the toxic people in our lives doesn't mean we hate them. We just need to let them go so we can have a better and happier life. We don't deserve to share a gloomy world with them!
ReplyDeleteMy mom always taught me to never trust anyone - and I don't.
ReplyDeleteTouche! I still believe that people are inherently good until they prove otherwise..
ReplyDeleteHi Aio,
ReplyDeleteInteresting thoughts, yah. But I wonder if other things are weightier and deserve preference. What comes to mind is tolerance of others, love, forgiveness, patience, kindness. I don't need to have my guard up with folks; my own pride and negative attitudes sometimes give me enough grief.
Take care,